About Judi Schindler

Judi Schindler, actor, author, speaker, has been entertaining audiences with her one-woman show: “Husbands: An Owner’s Manual” since 2012. Based on her 50 plus years of marriage, she explains how to select a husband and how to maintain him in good working order. She also is the author of a humorous book with the same title as well as a monthly blog: “The Toilet Seat Must Go Down,” which further explores the subjects of dating, mating and the interplanetary battles between Mars and Venus.

Are Couples Getting Back in the Swing

Elliot Gould, Natalie Wood, Robert Culp and Dyan Cannon in the 1969 movie "Bob & Carol & Ted & Alice." Today I'm writing on a topic I know nothing about (as if that ever stopped me): "wife swapping" -- also known as "wife sharing" or the more PC, "swinging." I regularly get emails from a social media site called, "Quora," which posts a question from one of its subscribers and then publishes answers provided by other subscribers.  Many of the questions are relatively bland, i.e. "Have you ever walked out of a restaurant after you were seated by a waiter or waitress?" Yeah, so what? But [...]

Shopping is Not a Conjugal Act

Despite 54 years of marriage, Jack Schindler and I do not like the same movies, television programs or books.  We are also incompatible when it comes to shopping. When I want to buy a pair of jeans, I try on several different styles and sizes and check every angle in a three-way mirror. I might pair it with a variety of tops to evaluate the look and consider the type of shoes that are appropriate for the length and cut of the pants. I'll sit and walk in every pair to see if they gap or pull.  I might ask the sales clerk how the fabric launders and [...]

Dating Today: Not For Amateurs

Photo Credit: Alvin Mahmudov on Unsplash As someone who claims expertise on "selecting a husband and maintaining him in good working order," I will have to admit my knowledge of the selection process is a little rusty. Not having personally husband-shopped for more than a half century, I rely on third-party research to keep up with current dating customs and taboos. Over the past couple of years, I've learned that blind dates have given way to dating apps and websites with their "bread-crumbing," "benching" and "ghosting." Break-ups via post-it notes (so old school) have been replaced by break-ups via text, DM or simply changing one's relationship status [...]

Some Enchanted Evening You May Meet a Stranger

Photo Credit: Getty Images In a recent story in the In a "Sunday Styles" section of the New York Times, a young New York man describes spotting a young woman across the room at a business event in Israel, "I . . .  just kind of froze for a moment. . . I immediately told myself if this girl could be the one, then I'm satisfied, I'm set for life." They had one date before he flew home.  Six months later they had a second date in Venice, and less than a year later she emigrated from Israel and moved into his Manhattan apartment. Love at first [...]

Some Aspects of Marriage Just Stink

I don't know what your mother told you on your wedding night, but mine said, "all men fart in bed." This came from a woman who had two husbands and only one extra-curricular encounter that I know of.  So, her opinion, while informed, was not based on exhaustive research. But science has explored the topic. Studies show that both men and women fart up to 20 times per day (both in and out of bed), but that men are no more gaseous than women.  It's just that men do little to control the noise level, frequency or location of their farting. To the contrary, men seem to be quite fond of [...]

Couples Overcome Challenge of Unremitting Togetherness

Marianne Murciano and Bob Sirott have been both business and life partners for 20 years. We all know marriage is hard, very hard. For two individuals to forge a life together, they have to compromise, accommodate, forgive and overlook — on a daily basis. That’s a pretty tall order. But what if these individuals also work together?  How much harder is that? To find out, I talked to several such couples. Chicago broadcasters Marianne Murciano and Bob Sirott didn’t know each other when they were paired to co-anchor the morning news on Fox TV in Chicago. The working relationship came first. They went from strangers to friends to lovers over [...]

Technology-Free Dating: Isn’t it Romantic

In an era of match.com, Tinder and dating-by-algorithm, it's nice to know that unexpected, heart-stopping, romance-by-chance is still possible. Even better, it can happen when you're dipping your toe in the dating pool for a second time.  Here're three such stories. A Tale of Three Steves Sharon was 39, newly divorced from Steve #1, and the mother of two small boys when she went to a single's dance on Long Island to meet her date, Steve #2.  She was there only a few minutes, when Steve #3 asked her to dance. While not quite ready to ditch Steve #2, she agreed to dinner the next night. Three days [...]

It’s No Joke: Marriage Can Help You Live Longer

Many are the comedians who've earned a living making fun of marriage: Henny Youngman famously told audiences, "Take my wife, please." Roseanne Barr countered with, "You may marry the man of your dreams, but 14 years later, you’re married to a couch that burps.” All kidding aside, there's another, more positive, aspect to marriage. Whether you know it or not, your spouse might be saving your life -- on a daily basis. According to an article published by Harvard Medical School's Health Publication, studies show that, when compared to singles, married adults tend to live longer, have fewer strokes and heart attacks, are less depressed, survive major surgery [...]

Last-Minute Gifting Advice for the Genetically Disabled

It's a known medical fact: most men are not born with the gift-giving gene. This time of year, you can see them stumbling around shopping malls, glassy-eyed and desperate. With Christmas just a few days away, I'd like to offer a few suggestions to those most in need. Gentlemen, here's what not to buy your wife or girlfriend. Gifts You Want Yourself While you might have your heart set on a beer cooler, power mower or roadside emergency kit: she probably doesn't. (Here's a secret: women have the crazy notion your gift should be a symbol of how much you love her, appreciate her and understand her needs.)  [...]

No Time for Dating Apps? Hire Someone to Do it For You

Photo Credit: New York Post Dating in the 21st Century is not for the faint of heart.  So many apps.  So many options.  So much technology. Not to mention a lot of swiping, winking and messaging. But there is help out there. There are websites, YouTube channels and blogs willing to help you slog through the dating swampland. And, of course, you can also hire your own personal dating coach. I managed to nab an interview with one of the best.  A former psychotherapist, Meredith Golden turned a life-long predilection for matchmaking into a business more than three years ago. She launched the SpoonMeetSpoon website, thinking it might give her [...]


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