Marry in Haste: Repent (Or Not) in Leisure?

Social media is a-twitter with the report last month that pop singer Ariana Grande, 24, and “Saturday Night Live” star Pete Davidson, also 24, got engaged after dating one week. Although “Cosmopolitan” contends they were secretly seeing each other since March while both were involved with other partners.  (I keep up with these things, so you don’t have to?)

Despite the fact that Ariana and Pete already have matching tattoos, it’s anyone’s guess whether this pairing is destined for death-do-us-part.

Fox News cites other celebs involved in quickie engagements, most of which did not see happily ever after: Pamela Anderson and Tommy Lee, married after 96 hours, divorced after three years; Rob Kardashian and Blac Chyna, engaged after four months, separated 11 months later; Rob’s sister Khloe and Lamar Odom, married after one month, with the divorce filed four years later. Then there’s sister Kim’s 72-day marriage to Kris Humphries.

On the other hand, you have the late Shirley Temple Black, child-star-turned-diplomat. She met her second husband, Charles Alden Black, less than two months after divorcing her first husband, John Agar.  She and Black became engaged 12 days later and stayed married for the next 55 years.

Are whirlwind romances a good thing or bad?

Ted Huston, Ph.D., the University of Texas at Austin, who collected data on 168 marriages reports the happily married couples he studied dated, on average, 25 months before marriage.

My husband and I married 19 months after meeting.  That was more than 53 years ago.  I personally think that luck had more to do with the success of our marriage than the length of our courtship.

When I think back, we barely knew ourselves, let alone each other.  And we had no idea the type of person we ‘d want by our side as our lives unfolded over the decades to come.  We wouldn’t know that until years (not months) later.

Maybe Ariana and Pete have it right.   They’re both talented, attractive and share the same taste in tattoos.  That’s probably as good a prescription for marriage as any.  The rest is just a crap shoot.

How long do you think a couple should date before marriage?  Does it matter? Add comments here.

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By |2018-07-05T18:49:49+00:00July 4th, 2018|Uncategorized|1 Comment

About the Author:

A former marketing executive, Judi Schindler, is a past president and founding member of the Chicago Area Chapter of the National Association of Women Business Owners. She is a member of the Leadership Team of Engaging Speakers and the Advisory Board of the Chicago College of Performing Arts at Roosevelt University. She’s listed in “Who’s Who in America,” “Who’s Who in American Women” and “Who’s Who in the Midwest.” Follow on Facebook, Twitter, Linkedin, Subscribe to “The Toilet Seat Must Go Down!”

One Comment

  1. Sharon Sultan Cutler July 5, 2018 at 2:27 pm - Reply

    Ok, I’m not orthodox when it comes to romance and marriage. I met my 2nd husband (Steve II) while waiting for my date (another Steve) at a Singles” club. Short 8-minute connection, but we made plans to dine out the next night, a freezing December Monday.

    Fast-forward (ok, not really), Tuesday at his office Christmas party, I told Stephen that we had so much in common, including amazing romantic attractions, that we should get engaged! Was it the wine or love at first sight that prompted Stephen to announce to the guests that we were engaged to be married.

    Thunderous silence from his friends, including his pal who went with him to that Sunday party.

    He moved in on Wednesday, before my sons returned from their dad’s home (that joint custody deal). Neither Stephen or my young sons knew about each other. Ok, I forgot to share with Stephen that I was a mother; the frenzy of a quick courtship prevented me from spilling my complete life story.

    Eleven years later he made our relationship legal by surprising me with a Surprise 50th birthday party which, halfway through evolved into a Surprise wedding for me and the 100-plus guests in black tie apparel.

    We just celebrated our 21st Wedding Anniversary. I kid you not…we are still in love 32 years after our lucky chance meeting…8 minutes of silly conversation leading to a fascinating courtship and marriage!

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