Photo Credit: New York Post

Dating in the 21st Century is not for the faint of heart.  So many apps.  So many options.  So much technology. Not to mention a lot of swiping, winking and messaging.

But there is help out there. There are websites, YouTube channels and blogs willing to help you slog through the dating swampland. And, of course, you can also hire your own personal dating coach.

I managed to nab an interview with one of the best.  A former psychotherapist, Meredith Golden turned a life-long predilection for matchmaking into a business more than three years ago.

She launched the SpoonMeetSpoon website, thinking it might give her something interesting to do a few days a week. One post on Facebook, however, resulted in 8,700 website visits in three days. Suddenly, she had a full-time job.

Her services include profile writing ($200); a dating diagnosis ($500) which includes a review and analysis of the client’s current on-line activities plus a plan for moving forward, and “diagnosis plus” ($1000), which adds a month of coaching to the action plan

But what sets Meredith apart from most other dating coaches is the service she calls, “The Whole Shebang.” For $2,000 a month, she will take over her  clients dating apps, swiping and messaging on their behalf.

Finding a real relationship is time consuming, says Meredith, and there’s a skill to messaging in a way that will interest a potential match without scaring him/her off.

“Doing it right takes an hour a day for each app, Monday through Thursday.” Friday is for assessment and closing out matches that aren’t going anywhere. Saturdays and Sundays are both days of rest.

“You want to look like you’re out doing fun things on the weekend, not sitting at home swiping through a dating app.”

Meredith personally loves the new technology, which allows you to screen partners by location, age, height, education, income, etc. She says her business wouldn’t have been possible before the advent of apps, which, FYI, have replaced websites with younger daters.

Her favorites are Hinge, Bumble, Coffee Meets Bagel, J Swipe and OK CupidTinder, she says, is for casual relationships (i.e. hookups).

Meredith, who has had a lot of media coverage, including the Today Show, The New York Post. Washington Post and London Times, shared a few of her top tips for on-line dating.

  1. Be inclusive — don’t blow someone off just because of a bad photo or profile.
  2. Get his/her last name and Google before meeting.
  3. Limit a first meeting to 20 minutes (coffee or drink). It’s not a date.
  4. Meet in a public place.  Be safe
  5. Remember, it’s a numbers game.

Somehow, I think it was easier to date and mate the way we did it 50 plus years ago — long before computers and algorithms.  You got fixed up with a cute guy when you were home from college and married him a year later while you were still too young and stupid to know better. Worked for me. Please comment here.

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