November 1, 1964 to November 1, 2017

Fifty-three years ago, today, I walked down the aisle, dressed in a white silk empire dress and the puffiest veil on earth, to marry a young, handsome guy, the love of my life — a stranger, I barely knew.

I was 22: Jack was 26. Babies. With everything I’ve learned since then, I could write a book. (Oh, wait, I did.)

To commemorate our anniversary, I recruited a few long-married girlfriends to talk about spending their entire adult lives with the same person.

Judy Horwitz and her husband, Don, recently celebrated 50 years of wedded bliss. (In reality, they were married 52 years, but the first two were a living hell.)

Judy says what she appreciates about a long marriage is, “You have a best buddy to play with, fight with cry with. Someone who knew you when.”

Julie Mitre offers, “The best part is you know what to expect — your baggage and his.  Who wants to deal with some other old fart with [new] baggage?”

“You’ve learned to negotiate,” according to Marilyn Liss, who has been married for 58 years.  “There’s a comfort zone. You have someone you know you can count on.”

Then there’s Joan Kohn, who says, “being married is better than dating ever again.”

“[But] the best part about a long-term marriage,” adds Joan, “is looking at those two young kids in our wedding photos and feeling we did the best we could to make their dreams come true.”

For those who want to join the ranks of the long-married, here’s some good advice from my friend Helen Sherman. She says there are five things she expects from her husband:

  1.             Never sleep with another woman.
  2.            Never question how I spend money.
  3.             Never say anything critical about me to anyone else, even and especially in jest.
  4.             Never undermine my decisions about our child and grandchildren.
  5.             Never be dismissive about my feelings.

Here are five things her husband expects from her:

  1.             Never sleep with another man.
  2.             Never question how I spend money.
  3.             Never say anything critical about me to anyone else, even and especially in jest.
  4.             Never undermine my decisions about our child and grandchildren.
  5.             Never be dismissive about my feelings.

Helen says, mostly, for 50 years, they’ve both met those expectations.

I would add that also you need a little luck in picking the right partner and a little humor in getting through the rough patches.

 

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By |2017-11-01T14:13:58+00:00October 31st, 2017|Uncategorized|0 Comments

About the Author:

A former marketing executive, Judi Schindler, is a past president and founding member of the Chicago Area Chapter of the National Association of Women Business Owners. She is a member of the Leadership Team of Engaging Speakers and the Advisory Board of the Chicago College of Performing Arts at Roosevelt University. She’s listed in “Who’s Who in America,” “Who’s Who in American Women” and “Who’s Who in the Midwest.” Follow on Facebook, Twitter, Linkedin, Subscribe to “The Toilet Seat Must Go Down!”

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