Some Aspects of Marriage Just Stink

I don’t know what your mother told you on your wedding night, but mine said, “all men fart in bed.”

This came from a woman who had two husbands and only one extra-curricular encounter that I know of.  So, her opinion, while informed, was not based on exhaustive research.

But science has explored the topic. Studies show that both men and women fart up to 20 times per day (both in and out of bed), but that men are no more gaseous than women.  It’s just that men do little to control the noise level, frequency or location of their farting.

To the contrary, men seem to be quite fond of their farts. It seems to start in childhood. I remember my grade school days when the boys cracked each other up either with fart noises, fart jokes or fart contests.

Several years ago Penn State Professor Trevor Blank won the W.W. Newell Prize for his essay, “Cheeky Behavior: The Meaning and Function of ‘Fartlore’ in Childhood Adolescence.” The paper describes a school yard game that requires a boy who farts to touch wood before a friend says another phrase.  If not, the friend is allowed to punch him.

In my experience, the longer a couple has been married, the more frequent and unabashed the farting. I’m not sure if this can be attributed to the physiology of aging or to the comfort level of two people who have spent decades bearing witness to each other’s bodily functions.

In researching this topic, I discovered that some men take it a step further. A few are actually aroused by the smell of flatulence. (Ewwww!!) And others use it as a weapon.(Also, Ewwww!!!)

My friend Stephanie told me about her first husband. He not only farted in bed, but pushed her head under the blanket, so she could smell it. He thought he was hilarious.

She’s happy to report that her second husband has a more sophisticated sense of humor.

Where do you stand on farts?  Polite and discreet?  Or let the chips fall where they may?  I’d love to hear your thoughts on the topic. Please comment here.

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By |2019-04-04T21:01:54+00:00April 4th, 2019|Uncategorized|0 Comments

About the Author:

A former marketing executive, Judi Schindler, is a past president and founding member of the Chicago Area Chapter of the National Association of Women Business Owners. She is a member of the Leadership Team of Engaging Speakers and the Advisory Board of the Chicago College of Performing Arts at Roosevelt University. She’s listed in “Who’s Who in America,” “Who’s Who in American Women” and “Who’s Who in the Midwest.” Follow on Facebook, Twitter, Linkedin, Subscribe to “The Toilet Seat Must Go Down!”

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