I was sitting around with a group of girlfriends last week when the topic turned to: “why men pee outdoors.”
The discussion began with Jennifer, who owns a small rental building in the city and recently installed security cameras around the property. While the camera hasn’t recorded any burglars, it has caught two different male tenants (on separate occasions) peeing al fresco.
Given that both men have perfectly good toilets a few steps away, my girlfriends wanted to know what’s going on.
Performing a quick Google search on their behalf, I discovered that men actually enjoy peeing in gangways, alleys, bushes and outside the occasional sports bar. I know this because I found, not one, but TWO online polls on the subject.
Reddit got a number of interesting answers when it asked: “Why do men feel the need to pee outside when clearly there is a bathroom in the house?” While some respondents referred to general feelings of freedom and liberation, others were more specific:
“Because it’s IN the house and we’re NOT.”
“It teaches the neighboring tigers that it’s OUR YARD and to STAY OUT”
“The world is our urinal. That’s why.”
“‘Cause dudes just like whipping out their dicks — like, ‘what’s up, world?”
Among the answers the Yahoo poll received was this one:
“It just feels as if I’m taking an ‘eternal stream in paradise’ . . . If I were to choose [between] having sex with a stunning beauty and taking a pee outside in a cool breeze . . . I would go with the pee thing.”
WOW! Really? Maybe women are missing out on a good thing.
Or maybe not. Our lady parts are not conducive to a quick piss in the park. We have to squat, make sure our pants and/or undergarments are out of firing range, and dry off before pulling ourselves together.
There is help, however. Backpacker magazine tested nine different FUDs (female urination devices), which allow women to urinate standing up. They’re meant to be used while hiking, mountain climbing (or presumably) at a backyard barbecue, and have names like SheWee, LadyP, Pee Pocket and Go Girl.
The latter, despite its great name and motto, “Don’t Take Life Sitting Down,” received low marks from the magazine. The tester says the product,” doesn’t hold water.”
Backpacker concludes its article with a few tips on how to use one of the devices, including: “practice in the shower”; “a wide stance helps to keep your feet dry,” and, “do not pee in the wind — you will immediately regret it.”
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